Adapting Desires (Endangered Heart Series Book 3) Read online

“I knew it,” he whispered into her ear. “Positively dripping…”

  Without another warning, he entered her, harsh and rough. She cried out at the invasion, her back arching further, and Kasper giving her no time for adjustment.

  He slid out slightly before thrusting himself back inside, gasps escaping from them both as their eyes met. As they began to move in designated rhythm, the vehicle started rocking back and forth—the movement undetectable to the lovers inside.

  The strength of his forearm dug into both of hers as he pounded into her, groaning as she pushed into him in a perfect, but rough, tempo. Giving into him, Kasper felt himself smile as she locked her ankles around him. Yes, he mused. He knew she needed this just as much as he did. Increasing his pace just slightly, he loosened his grip on her wrists, enough to give her hope—letting her wiggle while still thrusting against him.

  “Yes, eshghe man,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re going to be coming for me soon, aren’t you?”

  Her continued moans and increased pants were the only response it seemed she could manage.

  Finally, as he released her arms completely and cupped her breasts, she called out.

  “Kasper!”

  Bucking into a climax of his own, he groaned deeply into her, burying his face into her neck and quietly thanking Allah for the woman who lay beneath him.

  ***

  For a while she was content to remain beneath him, struggling to catch her breath with the same intensity he did. There was no question there had been a release in their love-making, one that was more emotional just as much as it was physical. And when he slid himself out of her, she groaned, feeling the brutality of his assault taking shape. Silently cursing herself for giving in so easily, she lay limp while Kasper did his best to redress her—not failing to notice how gentle he was being, lending her his hand to help her sit back up.

  “A-are you all right?” The concern in his voice touched her, but made her smile all the same. All right? Was she all right? She was better than she had been all week, felt more relieved and carefree than she had in days. “That was wonderful.”

  Kasper sighed with relief. “I quite agree.” He arched forward to zipper his trousers. “I do so hate it when we fight.”

  Emilia paused in buttoning her shirt to rest her head against his shoulder. “But I love it when we make up.”

  “Yes,” he agreed with a smile. “If there was ever a silver lining.”

  She watched him while he tucked in his shirt and tried to realign his mask without light or a proper mirror. There wasn’t any doubt that Kasper’s life would be easier with even a mild difference in his appearance. Maybe, she ventured, if he felt better about himself, he would feel more open-minded about adoption. Kasper was willing to sacrifice so much for her happiness, to wait for her and keep her safe. If all she had to do was be a little patient while he had his own version of an extreme makeover, then maybe, in the end, it would be worth it for them both.

  “Are you really going to go through with all of this?” she inquired suddenly. “All of these surgeries, I mean?”

  Kasper stopped trying to adjust his collar and looked back at his wife. With her honey cinnamon hair tangled around her face and remaining lip gloss slightly smeared, she looked more ravishing than ever. If only, he thought, he had a truly proper setting to take her. “Ideally.”

  Emilia looked away, possibly processing a million thoughts he could not understand. So Kasper sighed and tried again. “The rhinoplasty will be next week. I should heal and have the next procedure before your winter break—”

  Emilia nodded seriously, playing out the timeline in her mind. “So you’ll be down and out for Christmas?”

  He nodded.

  “Okay.” She smiled sadly. “At least I can be there then.”

  “I-I will not do this without your approval, Emilia. Your happiness means more to me than my own, and if you are against—”

  “No,” she said resolutely. “L-Let’s see how the rhinoplasty goes, okay? I’ll promise to think about it while you think about adoption, okay?”

  Again, Kasper nodded. “Agreed.”

  She snuggled deeper into his shoulder. “Then no more major decisions without me. A marriage is a partnership. And if we’re not together on this then we’re nothing. Besides, there isn’t any reason to rush, we have lots of time.”

  “Yes,” he agreed. “Lifetimes.”

  Chapter 6

  Even through the pronounced lack of sleep, Emilia felt a great deal better during her exam than she expected to. Confident and serene, she was one of the first to finish and still felt self-assured that she had done well—or at least hadn’t messed her average up too badly. She couldn’t deny either that it was the making-up session with Kasper that was responsible for it, the sealer after a week of studying that assured her success. Especially considering how nervous and jittery she felt with the material. When Emilia left the classroom, however, turning in her exam with a smile to the professor, she felt newly inspired to do something creative for a change. Without a second thought, her mind went to Claudette and all of the phone calls Emilia hardly ever returned. If anyone could help bring about a creative outlook, it would be her.

  It took a half a dozen phone calls to arrange it all. And with a miniature deep-fryer, orders to respectable Chinese and pizza places, and some cheap wine, a pre-Thanksgiving celebration was set for the Wednesday before the holiday. Overall, while not complex, the planning of such an event helped Emilia take her mind off of Kasper’s rhinoplasty and her guilt that she couldn’t be with him in the immediate days after.

  Since they hadn’t seen each other since the spring, Emilia was terribly looking forward to seeing Claudette—a visit they both agreed was long overdue. Admittedly, since Claudette and her boyfriend Matt had moved in together, the couple had spent most of their time renovating their small house—so the fault was not entirely Emilia’s.

  Kasper agreed to make an appearance for Emilia’s sake, as did Aasif and Mrs. Levkin. And while adoptions were prevalent during major holidays, Paula promised to stop by if she could. Three of Emilia’s classmates from her clinical had already replied and accepted the invitation, not unwilling to pass up the opportunity for free food.

  Emilia decorated each corner of the kitchen with bright orange lights and paper turkeys at the end of the tables. Afterward, she checked the clock on the wall regularly. Maybe, she mused, she was the hostess Kasper always accused her of being.

  Unable to contain her excitement at the knock on the door, Emilia stubbed her toe on the glass coffee-table and swore loudly. She hopped and swore all the way to the door.

  “What in the hell is going on in here?” Claudette laughed on the other side. “Is someone trying to kill you again?”

  Emilia rolled her eyes and pulled her into a hug. Claudette was the only one who felt comfortable making jokes on the topic of serious misfortunes, and everyone seemed to love her for it. And as much as Emilia pretended to be annoyed by it, she was more than grateful for it—Claudette’s perverse sense of humor had made her laugh more than once in those first days when her bruises from Cyrus where still healing and her nights were filled with nightmares. While Emilia was not proud to admit it, she knew that no matter how hard she tried, she could never be quite so good a friend.

  “I’m so glad we could get together during the holidays,” she said when they finally broke the hug. “It’s been ages and ages. I love the way you’re wearing your hair now.” Claudette flipped one of the lower layers of Emilia’s hair and made a clicking sound with her tongue.

  “You always were too complimentary. Come in, already. Come in. Where’s lover boy?”

  “Outside smoking.” Claudette pointed her thumb out. “He’ll be inside in a minute.”

  Emilia draped her arm over her friend’s shoulder. “Well, he’ll just miss out on presents then?”

  “Presents?” Emilia chuckled while Claudette’s eyes lit up. “For moi?”

  “Jus
t honeymoon souvenirs.”

  Emilia laughed louder while Claudette’s eyes lit up and her mouth fell open. “Don’t keep me in suspense!”

  They laughed together until Claudette spotted a bottle of wine and immediately went on a hunt for a corkscrew.

  ***

  Within an hour, the guests mingled in the living area, happily munching on snacks. Meanwhile, Aasif and Claudette’s boyfriend watched The Godfather, while Elaine and Mrs. Levkin admired one of the abstract paintings in the hall. As this occurred, Claudette and Emilia did their best to create a pattern with the cheese and vegetable platter—failing miserably at every attempt but sipping more wine each time, laughing and teasing each other happily.

  “So,” Claudette started. “You really think it was smart to invite your mom?”

  Emilia shrugged. “Maybe not. But she’s been sober during the last couple of times I’ve talked to her on the phone. And when I called the place she worked, they confirmed she actually worked there.”

  Claudette shrugged. “That’s something, I guess.”

  Emilia nodded in agreement. “I thought this would be a good test run. I don’t want her in my—our house, until I know she can be around booze for a while and still keep it together.”

  “Good idea, Em.” Her companion pointed her knife at Emilia in agreement. “It’s rare to go wrong with baby steps.”

  Emilia popped a piece of cheese into her mouth. “Speaking of baby steps.”

  “Your hubs is in the bedroom, I think.” Claudette smiled widely but said nothing else. And silently, Emilia was grateful for the lack of judgment, that reliable mix of loyalty and secrecy that came with friendship.

  Emilia squeezed herself between Mrs. Levkin and Paula, excusing herself and making promises that the pizza would arrive shortly. After knocking on her own bedroom door, she let herself in.

  Surprised, but not shocked, the first thing Emilia saw was Kasper sitting at her dressing table, staring into the mirror with his mask and prosthetics completely removed. Clearly he was fascinated by the appearance of his newly repaired nose. And while this wasn’t a behavior that hadn’t been entirely unexpected, Emilia was keen to admit that she hadn’t anticipated him to be so unguarded about it. Had he somehow forgotten there were people in the room and hall just next door? Or had he just forgotten to lock the bedroom door? Emilia didn’t want to alarm him by pointing out how anyone could have walked in and seen him “exposed” at any moment, so she remained silent, watching him from afar while he stared at his own reflection.

  Even Emilia had to agree that Dr. Taylor had done a fine job with the rhinoplasty. While she was alarmed at the intensity of the swelling in the first week, by mid-November even most of the bruising had gone down, and everything from the shape of his nose to the amount of his snoring had improved.

  There would be two more weeks of healing and another check-up before the first “non-essential” surgery. Emilia hadn’t brought up the topic of adoption since their last conversation, yet she would have been lying if she said she wasn’t hoping that her open-mindedness towards Kasper’s surgeries might work in her favor later on.

  When he poked himself in the nose and sneezed, Emilia couldn’t help herself. She giggled, giving away her position.

  Kasper smiled wryly, turning away from himself for the first time since she arrived. “You are turning into quite a spy, my dear.” Still smiling, he turned back to the mirror to properly affix his mask.

  “Either that or you’re losing your hearing.” Laughing lightly still, she flung herself on the bed stomach first so that the lower layers of her hair fell forward.

  “Poking fun of my age now?”

  “Never.” She giggled. “Though I will make fun how terrible you are at hide and seek.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “Hide and seek. That is what you’re doing in here, isn’t it? Hiding in here while everyone is out there?”

  Kasper sighed and finished putting on his ear. “In a year’s time this will be different. I will be able to blend in with your friends.”

  “They’re your friends too, Kasper. And this is your apartment just as much as it is mine—more so, technically. I want you with us.”

  When he didn’t respond, Emilia tried again. Rolling over so she was on her back, she mildly hoped to convey her confidence straight into him.

  “No one out there cares what you look like, Kasper.” She slipped her shoes off and continued to stare. Clearly this would require more concentration than she had originally anticipated. “That is one of many benefits of a small group.”

  Kasper only sighed and stared at the ground—unable, it seemed, to meet her gaze.

  “All right then, if you won’t eat with us, then at least make the appearance you promised to say hello to everyone.”

  The clamoring of feet down the hall interrupted her mid-sentence. Before the door was open, Kasper was on his feet. Emilia shortly followed, nearly falling off the bed to meet Claudette at the door.

  “Em!” she huffed. “You’d better come quickly. I—”

  “Claudette? What is it?”

  Smiling nervously, Claudette shifted her feet, glancing from side to side as though she did not know what to say. “It’s, ah, it’s your mom.”

  Kasper and Emilia looked at each other for a moment, then rushed simultaneously for the door.

  By pure luck, Emilia reached the living room before Kasper, managing to wedge herself out into the hallway before he did. Within moments of doing this, she walked out to behold her drunken mother pointing a finger in Aasif’s face, clearly speaking to him in a belligerent manner. Emilia smacked herself in the forehead and blanched. Though they tried to continue talking amongst themselves, Emilia could see her acquaintances from school and even Claudette’s boyfriend looking over their shoulders and plates to catch a glimpse of the commotion that the attorney was working to keep under control.

  Smiling in an attempt to distract her guests, Emilia gave her mother credit that she wasn’t completely intoxicated—at least in comparison to previous years. Emilia somewhat allowed herself to hope that the situation could remain under control.

  And it wasn’t until Susan full-on shouted that everyone stopped trying not to stare.

  “Who do you think you are?”

  “Mom!” Emilia did her best to whisper and yell at the same time. “What’s the problem?” As calmly as she could manage, and without embarrassing herself too terribly, Emilia walked over to where Susan and Aasif argued. From the corner of Emilia’s eye she saw Claudette lavishly and obnoxiously suggest a board game for everyone. Silently, she reminded herself to thank her friend later.

  “Mom?” Trying to save face, Emilia looked around. Claudette seemed to have everyone well distracted, or at least she reminded everyone to be polite enough to look the other way—almost everyone, anyway. Emilia did her best to ignore the rage radiating from Kasper as he stood silently in the corner, observing, but saying nothing.

  Susan blinked hard before turning her attention to Emilia, her body swaying as she struggled to focus. “I was trying to tell this man that I was invited. Mr. Shiver is trying to tell me to leave.”

  Emilia did her best not to roll her eyes. “Mom, this is Mr. Aasif Shiraz. He’s our attorney and a dear friend of Kasper—and mine,” she added with a smile. “I’m sorry,” she said to Aasif. “I should have mentioned I invited my mother. “This is my mom, Susan Ward.”

  “Ah.” The change in Aasif’s tone was noticeable. “Apologies, Madam.”

  Susan huffed and turned away.

  As she made the gesture, Emilia could easily smell cheap beer on her mother’s breath, making her smile fade away in an instant. Glancing over her shoulder and confirming that most of her guests were amply entertained, Emilia took her mother’s arm in hers and excused them.

  “Mom,” she whispered once they had the privacy of the hallway. “Have you been drinking today?”

  Susan giggled but stopped quickly, stuttering
and stammering over herself. “Only one or two. I-I was so nervous about meeting your friends and your husband. I had t-to calm myself down a little.”

  Emilia glared.

  “No, really.” Susan stifled a laugh. “I only had a couple, but I forgot what it was like to go without, how low your tolerance gets. It hardly takes anything to get a buzz.”

  “I thought you said you were done with drinking, Mom. That you were getting sober.”

  “Oh, lighten up, baby, it’s a holiday. I thought this was supposed to be a party! Besides, they say it isn’t healthy to go cold turkey anymore.”

  Emilia sighed, staring past her mother and to one of the dried flowers she saved and brought with her from her wedding day.

  “I’m glad you came today, Mom.”

  “Me too, baby,” Susan squealed. “This is such a nice place! I knew you and your new hubby had money, but this is something else. You’ll have to give me a tour—”

  “No.” Emilia shook her head and pinched at her eyes with her thumbs. “You misunderstand. I’m glad you came today so I could see you like this again. Talking to you on the phone the last couple of weeks…I’d nearly forgotten, wanted to forget what you were like when you were drunk.”

  “I’m not drunk.” Susan rolled her eyes. “Now don’t be such a snob and let’s get something to eat. Is that pizza in there?”

  “Leave, Mom. Please.”

  Susan became angry then, her temper dilated by the request and the alcohol that ran in her blood. Emilia could see it just as plainly and clear as day, though admittedly she was less intimidated by it than annoyed. And though she rubbed that space between her eyes, the headache that approached was unrelenting.

  “I can’t believe what a snob you still are! So judgmental! I bet you told everyone here what a horrible mother I am and invited me here just to kick me out!”

  “That isn’t true, Mom, and you know it.”

  “I was going to ask you to go in on opening a shop with me. We could be business partners—get to spend some real time together—”